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Quit humming. You're scaring the fish"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Chiller Theatre

Dead Funny

Iliadette.

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Solar Frankenstein

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Cow of BEEF

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"How was prom?"

'Frankendumpty'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

Back to school: The Horror,

Stephen King

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Young Stephen King

Happy New Ear!