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"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Solar Frankenstein

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

Monster Baseball

"How was prom?"

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

Back to school: The Horror,

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Young Stephen King

Happy New Ear!

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'