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"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

"How was prom?"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

Monster Baseball

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

Stephen King

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

Back to school: The Horror,

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Young Stephen King

Happy New Ear!