Horoscope Fanatic Pillows

'Hey, what sign are you?'

'If it's any consolation your Horoscope says it's your lucky,lucky day today!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Nostradamus.

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

Weather prediction is guesswork.

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

doom.com

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman

"Who's there?"

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Documentation Please