Hoppy Homemaker Pillows

"We've got to get rid of them somehow. Offer them one of your home-made beers"

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Beware of the Lawn

Modern Parents

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

Junk Mail Shredder.

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

Rabbits on Pinterest

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

"It was cute when the cat just played with a ball of wool, but this is getting out of hand!"