Hopeless Cook Humorist Pillows

'How do you like your eggs, black on one side or black on both sides?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"I feel like I can't trust myself around food."

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

Noodle exchange program.

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Can you dance?'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'To cook is to dare!'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Struggling chef.

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

Today's Special: Cream of Leftovers

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"