Hooked On Laughter Pillows

'Ha! How stupid do they think we are? Like we're really gonna bite a hook to get a measly worm so that we can be reeled up. Pretty pathetic, isn't it, Bill.....Bill?'

'You lifted your head.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

'He did it for us.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"You know very well what fish!"

'Right, now learn this trick...'

Tragedy and Material

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

Menace.

"You have to have a sense of humour to work here."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"Open mike night"

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

'Will you marry me and help bear my burden?'

It was the last time Colin would buy anything online!