Addicted To Laughter Pillows

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

King and Jester

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'So much for dogs looking like their owners'

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

'You are here' T-shirt,

"You have to have a sense of humour to work here."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"All her other suitors could sing and dance of course, but Mummy chose me because I made her laugh as well..."

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

Kid has pot stuck on his head.