Honor Student Achievers Gifts

"Son, the rest is up to you."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

U of Debt

GCSEs

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

Summa cum latte.

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Well, Timmy's academic results show that he has an exceptional instinct, well above the standard "basic instinct"..."

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

'I'm majoring in political science and minoring in ballet - I want to be a spin doctor.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

'I see from your resume, that on your last job you were salesperson of the month. Says here that you were given a plague. Do you feel better now?'

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

'I'm taking post-graduate work to learn how to read at least the fifth grade level.'

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

"I graduated summa cum laude caffeine-free, I'll have you know."