Academic Achievement Celebration Gifts

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

Help wanted. Various positions available.

Ace headhunters.

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

Day one, post grad

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

DACA

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."