Honesty Humor Pillows

"My wife asked me to name all my sexual partners in date order...I probably should've stopped when I got to her name."

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

'At least he's honest.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

'You appear to be a very honest and ethical applicant. Are you sure you're in the right office?'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'Why honest is the best policy...'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

Augmented reality check

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

“He’s my son, yes. But we only met a few times. Frankly, I hardly know him.”

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

'Your resume says, you are lazy, stupid, incompetent, useless, and a nitwit. You're hired, I like an honest man.'

"Now, don't lie to me. I'm not your wife."