Honesty Humor Gifts

"My wife asked me to name all my sexual partners in date order...I probably should've stopped when I got to her name."

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'At least he's honest.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'You appear to be a very honest and ethical applicant. Are you sure you're in the right office?'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

'Why honest is the best policy...'

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

“He’s my son, yes. But we only met a few times. Frankly, I hardly know him.”

Augmented reality check

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

"I'm just as ambivalent about her as the day we met, fifty years ago."

'Your resume says, you are lazy, stupid, incompetent, useless, and a nitwit. You're hired, I like an honest man.'

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD