Honesty Humorist Gifts

"I told you he was honest."

Ethics exam cheater.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

'Your ten percent tip.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'At least he's honest.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'What a bargain!'

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

Introducing Honest Abe Cards