Honest Broker T-Shirts

'I do like people... but not a whole lot.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"You know, sometimes I don't think of us so much as dealers in stocks and bonds as dealers in dreams."

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"He downgraded Apple."

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'