Honest Broker Gifts

'I do like people... but not a whole lot.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"He downgraded Apple."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"You know, sometimes I don't think of us so much as dealers in stocks and bonds as dealers in dreams."

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.