Homonym Collector Pillows

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

Bathroom Fairy

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'