Homework Procrastination Expert Pillows

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Serious Putty

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

"File!"

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

Chairmen of the Bored

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"He's my hero. At 5 he just knocks everything off his desk and calls it a day."