Homework Assistant Gifts

"Listen, if I knew the answer, I wouldn't have to ask you!"

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Do your research!

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Evil Exams!

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"How was work?"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Pull an all-nighter?

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'