Homesickness Gifts

'Hello, Dad? You were right about the world. I want to come home.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"You'll have to fetch your own slippers. The dog resigned."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"Here comes the sports section!"

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"This is our coffeemaker room."

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

"You rang?"

"It's a 'Get well or else!' card from your boss."

"Oh, Hi Shirley, what are you doing here?" "It's my house."

'No wet paws in Kitchen'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'If this isn't rich beyond your wildest dreams, your dreams aren't wild enough.'