Homesickness Gifts

'Hello, Dad? You were right about the world. I want to come home.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"You'll have to fetch your own slippers. The dog resigned."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"This is our coffeemaker room."

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

"Here comes the sports section!"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"You rang?"

"It's a 'Get well or else!' card from your boss."

"My client is being more than fair. She is willing to let you keep all the shoes and the house."

'No wet paws in Kitchen'

"Oh, Hi Shirley, what are you doing here?" "It's my house."

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."