Homemade Food Lover Gifts

Papi's idea of a good father vs. Baldo's idea of a good father: dinner plans.

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

A man and baby wearing bibs

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

"George often brings his work home with him."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Consider it your entrée into the business world."

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."