Homemade Food Lover Pillows

Papi's idea of a good father vs. Baldo's idea of a good father: dinner plans.

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"This might take awhile, Lord."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."