Homebuyer With A Twist T-Shirts

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

'Is the fire included?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

It's nice, but we were hoping for something unfurnished.

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

Welcome to Illusion Estates: Illusory Living At Its Best

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'