Prospective Homeowner With A Twist T-Shirts

Welcome to Illusion Estates: Illusory Living At Its Best

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

The Day Dreamer.

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

Hey! Built-ins! Carpenter Ants: Best-Case Scenario.

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'Buy this house and get two wonderful neighbours!'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

'Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence.'

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

". . . So why, exactly, was the price drastically reduced?"

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

'It has three bathrooms and not one set of scales.'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'How interesting, the subdivision's built on an empty mineshaft.'

"Can you show us something that will make our friends envious, but not too envious?"

"One question: Do the windows open?"

House Price.

'We're looking for somewhere with some character and class... somewhere like Barnsley.'