Homebrew Hopeful Gifts

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

Home Wine-Making Kit...

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

'I brew it myself.'

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

"We grind our own catnip."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"The sourdough starter says it still believes Covid was a hoax."

'So, how do you like it? I crushed the grapes myself!'

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

'Of course, if you'd like to splurge, this home brewing kit costs $12,000 - it comes with a genuine German brewmaster.'

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

Old Irascible? Someone call?

A mailbox outside a house reads "The Larson Family and Microbrewery".

"Ralph has his own little microbrewery."

'I'm worried Tom has a drinking problem.'

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.

Moonshine Lite!

Cut out and keep your own Bar Man.

"Made with pride in our basement."