Homebody Philosopher Pillows

"Me: I never get invited to anything Also me: Sorry, I'm so tired, think I'll stay in."

What did you think happened to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"I think my mid life crisis has slipped by without me noticing it!"

Couch - Soft, squishy and voluminous organism whose unusual mode of reproduction involves locating itself near a television set and secreting a skin-absorbed retrovirus containing couch-genes.

Welcome to the Conspiracy Files...

"A new study shows half of all marriages end in divorce when one of the spouses bring their work home with them. Would you care to respond, honey?"

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Good News about winter

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Take me to your Larder!"

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Big screen TV.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Love is when you watch television together.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Electric Blanket.

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Why do they call what we're wearing 'sweats'?"

Sheltering in place.

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

Contented man and cat sleeping

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Quick! Get outta there! They're home!"

"You are still here."