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'There you are Mr. Hill, as promised, a view of the Thames.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

Cat statues on entrance gate

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

100 best beheadings

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"He's an indoor cat."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."