Home Secretary Gifts

'You're in charge of Homeland Security...do something.'

'You're power mad - you realise that, don't you?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Copycats

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Out and In.

Storm in the out tray

37 years in the same position.

'T.M.I.F.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"Morning, all!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Time for More Paperwork

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."