Home Safety Explorer Pillows

'Dad, I'm sure you're probably ticked about this, but when I tell you what happened, I'm sure you'll agree it's been a great learning experience for me,'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

'New normal' family life

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

Beware of Dogs

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

Little Did She Know