Home Reconnection Seeker Pillows

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

WiFi Signals

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'How's the water skiing?'

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Working from Home.

A woman's work is never done!

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

House hunting is cruel.

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Did you pack the Vermont maple syrup?"

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

Coronovirus dreams

"I like this one, it looks lived in."

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)