Starter Home Seeker Pillows

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'How's the water skiing?'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

The Day Dreamer.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Working from Home.

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

House hunting is cruel.

Turtle Home

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

New Homes

"Did you pack the Vermont maple syrup?"

"I like this one, it looks lived in."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

False starts.

"Oh, it's called a fireplace. I'm not sure what fire is, but look how cozy."

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

Your dream home

'The good news is it's not mice.'

'Sorry, Mr. Reed. We thought we had a great new house-moving technique until the wind shifted.'