Home Seeker Pillows

"We find curb appeal very important."

"Folks, we're in a hot market ...so you might want to make an offer before the fire trucks get here."

Affordable housing: no vacancy.

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

Estate Agents Date

House made out of home information packs.

'Perhaps this one is a little TOO cozy.'

Buyer beware! Some hellish folks might live next door.

Just when all hope was lost, Kirby happened upon a vision shared by all homeless cuckoo birds - the abandoned clock.

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

"Catchment area for schools?"

You said you wanted an early American house AND it does have a few modern conveniences including central air and heating.

'You know how birds don't like to nest too close to houses? Well, Brian's sort of the opposite.'

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

Real Estate Lust

'Well, at least this one ticks all your boxes!'

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

A house with a For Sale sign out in front that reads "Might be for sale".

"Sorry, but if the house only has a shower, we're not interested: We need a house with a large bath or a swimming pool..."

'And it's great because you're not over looked due to the cricket pitch.'

House hunting is cruel.

House viewing

Estate Agent 'Last time buyer'

'Anything in a wife-swappers belt?'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'How's the water skiing?'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'