Family Reconnecter Pillows

'I retired from politics to spend more time with my family, and they didn't RECOGNIZE me.'

Missing person's reunion

The Truck Driver comes home...

Coronovirus dreams

Best Places to Retire

'None of the other things had instructions.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"You won't believe it - your granddaughter's grown a foot since you last saw her!"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"Wet wipe?"

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

Grandma is texting her grandchildren.

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'

"I don't know why she got so mad. I had an excuse based on a true story."

"I thought we talked about this."

"I'm afraid you suffer from 'Teen Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Once your kids grow up, it'll go away."

"This has been fun, Dad, but I need to spend more quality time with my smartphone."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"It sure is great to have you back for a while at the mother ship."

"This family who came with the frame made it clear they want no contact with me."

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"I brought Tom home to my parents and left him there."

"If it's any consolation, the first 34 years are the worst."

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'