Family Reconnecter Pillows

'I retired from politics to spend more time with my family, and they didn't RECOGNIZE me.'

Missing person's reunion

The Truck Driver comes home...

Coronovirus dreams

Best Places to Retire

'None of the other things had instructions.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"You won't believe it - your granddaughter's grown a foot since you last saw her!"

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"Ironically, this all started with a little poke on Facebook."

Psychiatry. Did you get in touch with your inner child? Yeah, and now I understand all my apps!

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

"Wet wipe?"

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

Grandma is texting her grandchildren.

'Eddie's mom has nerves of steel. She didn't send me home 'til almost four.'

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

"This family who came with the frame made it clear they want no contact with me."

"This has been fun, Dad, but I need to spend more quality time with my smartphone."

"I'm afraid you suffer from 'Teen Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Once your kids grow up, it'll go away."

"It sure is great to have you back for a while at the mother ship."

"I thought we talked about this."

"I don't know why she got so mad. I had an excuse based on a true story."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"Traveling alone? Don't worry. I'll probably be dead soon anyway."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

"I'm used to real happy meals, you know. If I'm gonna eat this, I'd like my toy prize now! Somehow 'Your own bed to sleep in' doesn't seem like a fun prize."