Home Queen Pillows

I'd like to treat my wife like a princess, but she's always doing housework.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Take me to your Larder!"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Ladies

A Manicure

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Sweet surprise.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

Chef Cake Topper

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Queen.

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."