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'One day son, all this will be protesters.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

G.P.S. For the Home

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

'So far we've only managed to grab this one little piece of the web commerce puzzle.'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

'Our new neighbor an urban farmer.'

Man painting the ceiling with the help of an umbrella.

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

Wagon

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Home Ship Home

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

'I leave in three weeks.'

"Watch out for the low beams!"

Cactus at Balloon Animal Class

The Jukes and the Kallikaks Today

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

"Yeah, well, then you should've said merchandise or maybe contents sale, right?"

House hanging on cliff with 'FILL WANTED' sign.