Home Officionado T-Shirts

"It's the perfect work-from-home apartment because my office used to be here."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Interior design trends for parents....

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'I found the termites!'

"I'm working from home today."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Fittd shēt

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"By labeling it, I control it."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"There's more inside."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Moving in

Acclaimed mother.

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Washing Line Walker