Home Harmony T-Shirts

"It'll keep him busy while we discuss his faults."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

A woman's work is never done!

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Remote work

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

Headlines at Our House

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Looks like I do dishes again.

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

"I apologize for the mess."