Home Management Aficionado Gifts

'Of course I know how to run a household. Just tell me where you keep the purchase orders.'

Let's get organized

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Hassled Mother.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Separation Anxiety

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

A woman's work is never done!

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

The Complete Cycle.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'That's my mom... she's sort of a CEO, an action committee, and a janitor all rolled up into one.'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'The complete computer home management system you bought says I should divorce you.'

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Cleaner