Home Maintenance Procrastinator T-Shirts

"Ok. Ok - After we probe you, we'll remind you to clean your gutters."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

The household cavalry

Timber preservation

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Housewife: Out of Order.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Product Testing Department

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"