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"Let's keep count of our poops here on the fridge and see who does the most in a week!"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Fitness guru.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'I've got it written down...'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

"I quit."

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Texas Dashboard Organizer

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"Johnny is absent minded, lazy, easily distracted, loaf of bread, milk, half a pound of cheese...."

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

'I started making a list of things to do this morning, and before I knew it, it was quitting time.'

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

Gymnasts

"I always create to-do lists."

'It's guaranteed for one year.'

'Captain? The boat is listing badly.'

"Sorry, but until spring I need to improve my play from the rough."

"Sometimes I forget my shopping list. So this time, I made sure to put it in my new purse!"

Argh! If I don't make a list, I always forget something when I go on a trip.