Home Improvement Pillows

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

Extra Large Christmas Tree

"Worst-case scenario? The renovation goes three years and two million dollars over budget, one of you bludgeons me to death with my own hammer, and you both get the electric chair."

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'He's been keeping busy as usual, doing odd jobs around the house.'

"My to-do list is somewhere on there."

"How much we talking for a deck?"

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

Gas Vs. Electric

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

The Emersons at Home

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

'It's okay. We all forget occasionally. It's righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.'

Extra parts to confuse people.

Use the right tool for the right job. (Hammer? Wrench? - It's all good.)

Clear construction agreements are important.

'David discards his measuring tape for the faster 'eyeballing' method of measuring.'

It was at times like this he realised the value of a more personal insurance service.

Plumber plugging a hole and trying to reach a valve.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'It says right here in your contract, folks: 'Some settling may occur during the first year'.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"When I said it might sell faster if you put in a new driveway, I meant if you repaved the old one."

'Today's not a real good day to move in.'

Say it with Flowers. Say it with power tools.

"I'm not a guru. I'm just hanging out here till my renovation is done."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

Man covered in nails returning his nail gun to the store.

"I can't remember whether I left the toilet seat up last night."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"The homeowners association called to remind you there's no shirtless lawnmowing past age forty-five."