Home Improvement Artist Pillows

"Hey - isn't that my make-up and putty knife?"

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Light Bulb Moment

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

The Missing Sock Returns

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Painting the Ceiling

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Man using to much bug spray

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Home depot."