Home Haven Gifts

"We raised ninety-seven happy children in it and could let you have it for six hundred thousand."

'Do you want to put that on the market?'

Dog Walking Services

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Captain steering house through flood.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Couch and Potato

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

man juggling career, home and children

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Living together, couple in love.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

I'm home! Where are my pipe and slippers? At the tobacco shop and the shoe store, respectively.