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You put sparkling water in the WHAT?

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

At the rock concert...

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

American Idle.

'There's nothing on.'

AA Meeting Here Today

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Green Balloon

See you at the farmers market!

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

All dressed up and no place to go

Church Basement Foodie

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"