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"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

At the rock concert...

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'There's nothing on.'

AA Meeting Here Today

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Green Balloon

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

See you at the farmers market!

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Church Basement Foodie

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."