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'The drinks cabinet is empty!'

"5...4...3...2..."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Take no notice...he just likes the sound of his own voice.'

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"Martha will now do the rounds with an assortment of light snacks and liquid refreshments."

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Domestic Goddess.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"And this is our media room."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'There's nothing on.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

TV-Man

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Big screen TV.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'3-D TV Kit'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Homo Zapiens