Home Chore Humorist Pillows

'Can't you escape or something - The grass needs cutting?'

Dryer Sheets: Lemon (scented).

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"There goes our early night."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"5...4...3...2..."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"No religious nuts!"

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

Suburban street.

Carpet Cows

"Jim was a model Dad".

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'