Home Chef With A Conscience T-Shirts

"I freeze all my leftovers until I feel less guilty about throwing them away."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Party time.

The Origins of Everything

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Holiday Supplies

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

The ecumenical dinner party.

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

Stay at home food pyramid

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.