Eco-conscious Chef T-Shirts

'C'mon, honey... I was kidding! I just burned this steak! It has nothing to do with Global Warming!'

'Becuase of global warming reduce by 10 degrees!'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

The Velvet Mesquite

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"We're making progress."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

'It's farm-to-table-to-farm dining.'

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

'First they shoot at us, then they try to fly like us, now they want to steal our lunch.'

World Meat Consumptiom

"Hybrid-battery cows might reduce our methane gas emissions...but good luck trying to get a decent filet mignon out of them."

"No dolphins where harmed in the preparation of this Tuna sandwich."

'Is it local?'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

"You just HAD to order the free range chicken, didn't you?"