Eco-friendly Chef T-Shirts

Cull people who waste leftover food.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

The Velvet Mesquite

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Civilized Salmon

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Recycling bottle bank.

Stuffing the turkey.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"We're making progress."

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."