Eco-friendly Cook T-Shirts

Woman cooking eggs by direct sunlight.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

The Velvet Mesquite

Civilized Salmon

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"You had me at alternative milk."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Recycling bottle bank.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"We're making progress."

The early days of tofurkey.

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'