Energy-conscious Cook T-Shirts

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

But is it organic?

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Diet considerations.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"We're making progress."

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

Complex Carbs

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

"I'd like a vanilla cupcake with buttercream icing on the side."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house, but we can do it for 40% less carbs and no trans fats!'